I seem obsessed these days with restoring my skin to its once youthful firmness and glow. This has been prompted by several events--the TV show I mentioned yesterday with its sheep placenta, being bombarded with ads for every cream under the sun, and, finally by The Wretch's comments that I had officially entered geezer-dom. (Is it any wonder I refer to him as The Wretch?)
I've tried my own restoratives and hit upon what I think is a winner. Crisco. Yes, good, old-fashioned Crisco. Slather it on your face at night and you'll have skin as soft as a baby's behind in the morning. Of course, you'll ruin your pillowcases and sheets, but, after all, sacrifices must be made in the name of beauty.
Gem for the day: Crisco (I buy the dollar store stuff) is a hell of a lot cheaper than raising your own sheep to get that placenta.
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