A couple of days ago, I wrote about my hip replacement surgery. It involved several sets of X-rays. The first time I looked at an X-ray I noticed two large globe-like things hanginig down. I almost asked the doctor, "What the hell are those?" Then it came to me: They were my ass.
Yes, I said ass. Two such big things do not deserve the kinder appelation of bottom, rear, or posterior. I was looking at my ass, two lazy globs of fat, just hanging around for no good reason except to give me a cushiony thing to sit on.
Thank heavens, I stopped myself in time from revealing my stupidity to the doctor and sparing him the embarrassment of answering. Though I knew my rear was on the large size, I didn't realize quite how humungous it was. It was a humiliating and enlightening expereince.
So, there it is. My brand new hip has a huge ass to go along with it. I knew I should have asked for a complete overhaul.
Yes, but now with your new hip you can at least haul ass!
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