One of the problems menopausal women face is that of failing eyesight. At the same time, we are dealing with high-maintenance to retain even a fraction of our once good looks. This means more creams, more cleansers, more foundation, more eye makeup, more blush. In a word, more.
On one rushed morning, as I was preparing to go to physical therapy, I penciled in eyebrows (my own brows have grown distressingly thin). I gave myself one last look in the mirror, decided I was good to go, and took off. When I arrived at the rehab center, my therapist (a beautiful young woman) looked at me and said, "Jane, why do you have green eyebrows?"
"I didn't know I did."
She nodded and patted my shoulder. Surrepitiiously, I spit on my hand and tried to wipe away the green eyebrows and ruefully, if silently, acknowledged what had happened. I had mistaken a green eye shadow pencil for my eyebrow pencil. My aging eyesight had failed to distinguish the difference, even when I checked myself in the mirror.
Satisfied that I'd removed the offending green brows, I went from physical therapy to a doctor's appointment for a check-up. The doctor looked at me and said, "How did you get the bruise under your eye?"
In my attempt to wipe away the green eyebrows, I had apparently smeared the eye shadow under my eye to give me a bruised appearance.
"I walked in to a door," I told him, lying through my teeth.
He patted my shoulder. I get a lot of that lately.