Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Day 85, August 15

One of the problems menopausal women face is that of failing eyesight.  At the same time, we are dealing with high-maintenance to retain even a fraction of our once good looks.  This means more creams, more cleansers, more foundation, more eye makeup, more blush.  In a word, more.

On one rushed morning, as I was preparing to go to physical therapy, I penciled in eyebrows (my own brows have grown distressingly thin).  I gave myself one last look in the mirror, decided I was good to go, and took off.  When I arrived at the rehab center, my therapist (a beautiful young woman) looked at me and said, "Jane, why do you have green eyebrows?"

"I didn't know I did."

She nodded and patted my shoulder.  Surrepitiiously, I spit on my hand and tried to wipe away the green eyebrows and ruefully, if silently, acknowledged what had happened.  I had mistaken a green eye shadow pencil for my eyebrow pencil.   My aging eyesight had failed to distinguish the difference, even when I checked myself in the mirror.

Satisfied that I'd removed the offending green brows, I went from physical therapy to a doctor's appointment for a check-up.  The doctor looked at me and said, "How did you get the bruise under your eye?"

In my attempt to wipe away the green eyebrows, I had apparently smeared the eye shadow under my eye to give me a bruised appearance.

"I walked in to a door," I told him, lying through my teeth.

He patted my shoulder.  I get a lot of that lately.


  1. Hmmm. Sounds like those of us not blessed with as many years are lucky not to be blessed with a few more black eyes.

  2. Oh, make me laugh, thanks for being so, so, honest and brave...I love you

  3. Hahahaha Kudos for the clever response to your doctor - I'm not so quick witted and would have just had to admit my faux pas. :)