Thursday, October 4, 2012

Day 134, October 4

I do not have an hourglass figure.  My sands keep shifting.  In an effort to combat the sand that had shifted from her upper half to my lower half, I bought a pair of silicone breasts.  (They even things out on top and bottom.)   These are nifty little things, which tuck ever so neatly inside my bra.

The only problem is that the silicone picks up the heat from my body.  As someone who is known as "Hot Flash Hannah," I don't need anything else producing heat.  I put my thinking cap on and came up with a solution:  I store my breasts in the refrigerator.  This makes them cool to the touch and they feel delightful when cozied up to the girls.

My husband, wretch that he is, took umbrage at my storing my breasts in the fridge.  "Jane," he asked, "why are your breasts in the refrigerator?"

I explained, very kindly, I thought, about the heat problem.  He only shook his head.  "Are you sure that it's good for them to be in the refrigerator?"

"Of course it's good for them."  (He'd never shown that much consideration for my real breasts, but all of a sudden, he's concerned with my fake boobs?  C'mon.  Give me a break.)

The fake girls now have a permanent spot on our fridge.  They rest there until they are taken out for use.  Feel free to copy my idea if you desire.


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