Finding the right pair of jeans is no easy feat. Women struggle to find just that pair that will make our booty look tight, firm, and sassy. My booty gave up tight with the first pregnancy. Firm went the way of the second. Sassy followed with the third. The fourth pregnancy finished off any hope my booty ever had of recovering its former tightness, firmness, and sassiness.
So what's a poor, menopausal woman to do to find those oh-so-elusive perfect jeans? The fashion industry has come out with a solution: pajama jeans. That these look like sloppy sweat pants dyed denim-blue should not deter us from embracing them ... or, more precisely, them embracing our backsides.
Our world will be perfect, we're told, if we only buy a pair of pajama jeans. Never mind that they cost $40 or so. Never mind that they will stretch like a cheap bra. Never mind that the only way my booty is going to be tight, firm, and sassy again is if I undergo a booty replacement. But, hey, I've had hip replacement, why not a booty replacement? Do you think insurance will cover that?
Gem for the day: wear pajama jeans at your own peril.