Day 164, November 3

By the time a woman has reached menopause, she has attended more meetings than a southerner has said "Bless your heart."  We have attended civic meetings, church meetings, and PTA meetings.  We have attended meetings with our children's teachers, meetings with our children's orthodontists, and meetings with our own therapists (we have issues about meetings). 

Let's go back to the church meetings.  If a woman is an MMW (Mormon Menopausal Woman), she has attended thousands upon thousands of church meetings.  (I did a rough calculation and figured that I had attended somewhere along the lines of 7,500 church  meetings in my lifetime.)  She has attended Sacrament Meetings, Sunday School Meetings, Relief Society Meetings.  She has attended stake meetings, welfare meetings, and planning meetings.  Just when she is about meeting-ed out, she is told she must attend a meeting about meetings.

Our family has coined a term for meeting-itis:  church butt.  Yes, by the time she is menopausal, an MMW has a severe case of church butt.  In my usual spiritual fashion, I penned a limmerick about this condition:

In the Mormon church we meet
Till my feet are as tired as my seat.
I wouldn't complain
If it weren't for the pain
Of making my spirit so sweet.

(Please forgive the uneven meter and juvenile rhyming.)

Gem for the day:  even an ample booty, like mine, won't save you from church butt.

PS  Attending meetings won't get you to heaven.  Sorry.