The other day I found, at a garage sale, a book on entitled BECOMING A LADY. I assumed it to be a tongue-in-cheek type book. It wasn't. Unable to help myself, I started reading aloud to my two garage sale buddies.
Here are a few of the rules of becoming a lady:
A lady never wears linen before Easter or after Labor Day. (Whew. I'm safe there as I don't wear linen at all. Too much ironing.)
A lady always wears lipstick. (Really? When she's in her sweats or her husband's t-shirt that reaches to her knees?)
A lady never nags. (Oh, right. How do you think my three sons got their Eagle awards in scouting?)
A lady never whines. (Okay. This is probably good, but whining is one of my favorite activities, right after eating, swearing, and reading.)
A lady never finds fault with others. (Another good one. I'm sure I could do better at it if I didn't encounter people at garage sales who are asking ridiculous prices for their junk.)
The list of what a lady does and doesn't do continued until I was in danger of puking on the driveway of the person holding the garage sale. (I didn't see it listed, but I'm guessing that a lady never pukes in public.)
Gem for the day: a lady is one who cares about others. Period.