Sunday, July 14, 2013

Day 212, July 14

Yesterday I wrote about the intricacies of removing a bra in public.  Then there is the other "end" of things:  removing panty hose while driving a car.  (I thought this particularly appropriate for today, since it's Sunday and many of us are driving to and from church.)

I haven't done it recently as it requires more flexibiity than my poor old body can summon these days.  If you are interested, though, here are the steps.

-Set your car for cruise control.  (This is crucial.)

-Position your knees so that they are steering the car, leaving your hands free.

-With your right hand, reach under your skirt and tug the right hip and leg of said hose down. 

-Repeat this procedure with the left.

-Elevate your ass slightly above the car seat and wiggle the hose the rest of the way down.

-Kick your shoes off, along with the offending panty hose.

-Replace your shoes.

-Resume your normal driving position.

Gem for the day:  if your panty hose offend thee, pluck them out.

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