Thursday, July 25, 2013

Day 223, July 25

What words are most likely to strike terror in a woman's breast? 

"Honey, I don't feel so hot," as uttered by her beloved.

If you hear these words, if you even THINK you might hear these words, run, don't walk, out of the house, get in your car, and check yourself into a hotel  (using HIS credit card, of course) until you think your significant other has recovered from whatever real or imagined ailment has beset him.

This counsel applies not just to menopausers, but to every woman.  For there is nothing more pitiful (and annoying) than a male who thinks he might have a sniffle.

Wives and mothers have suffered through all manner of sicknesses, including childbirth, with scarcely a word of complaint.  Mothers, in particular, have no choice but to get up and take care of the children, even if they are falling down sick.  Men, on the other hand, have only to sneeze and they take to their beds with a litany of complaints, moans, and groans. 

They assume a voice that grates on even the most patient woman's soul.  "If I hear that voice one more time, I'm going to murder him while he sleeps," one wife confided to me.

Loyal friend that I am, I offered her the use of the big hole in our back yard where she could dispose of the body.

Gem for the day:  I repeat:  run, don't walk, from a male with the sniffles.  You'll thank me later.

1 comment:

  1. How thoughtful of you to offer up a hole in your yard.