Sunday, July 21, 2013

Day 219, July 21

Most women know that the acronym LBD stands for "little black dress."  Most of us have or have had such a dress in our wardrobes.  It is a staple of the well-dressed woman.

Now that I am firmly in the grips of menopause, I realize that LBD can stand for something much more relevant:  lumpy, bumpy, and dumpy.  In some circles, this is known as the "umpies."  Yes, the little black dress has given way to the big black dress with its attendant lumps, bumps, and dumpiness.  It's not a particularly palatable realization, but there you have it.

Gem for the day:  when your LBDs get you down, treat them with a big helping of Ben and Jerry's.  It won't smooth out the lumps, bumps, and dumpiness, but it sure goes down smooth.

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